In
these days of instant communicayion through the Internet, we have
many
opporunities that did not exist during our earlier years. While participating
in
a recent teleclass (a class where all participants attend via telephone),
I met
Sara Arbel, an Israeli mother of three, who is a successful businesswoman.
During our first class session, Sara and I discovered that, despite
the cultural
differences, we have much in common. We have communicated almost daily
through electronic mail since our first class together. Througt these
electronic
mail messages, I have developed much respect for Sara and the decisions
she
has made in her life.
After
her stint in the Israeli army, a responsibility required of all Israeli
citizents,
Sara married an aspiring artist. In the early years of her marriage,
she pursued
a higher education with course work in behavioral science, communication,
and
consumer psychology. She and aer husband then moved to Canada, where
she
established an art gallery to market her husband's works of art. The
customers
kept returning, and she and her husband received large commissins.
After nearly
a decade, the couple and their children returned to their native Israel
where Sara
next established two businesses, one specializing in corporate image
design and
the other in marketing consulting. One business supplied work to the
other, and
they both became financially lucrative. She headed these companies
as she was
also raising her children. As the children got older, she traveled
the world with her
customers, who were from various industries, including electronics,
plastics,
agriculture, textile, medicine, and others. She competed will and
was respected by
her competitors. Her major challenges were during times of war when
the entire
economy was shaken. Still, she was extremely successful in business.
It
seemed that Sara was living the ideal life - a good husband and family,
a successful career, world travel, and financial security. Then her
husband died.
As a result, she threw herself even more into her career, working
fourteen to
sixteen hours each day.
Ultimately,
Sara came to the realization that life was more than work aloe.
She decided to decease her number of work hours and to take time for
her lif.
She is successful in her current profession as a consultant and a
personal and
professional coach. She is also successful in all other facets of
her life.
When
I asked Sara what she considers to be the greatest success in her
life
so far, she replied, "The greatest success in my life so far
is arriving at the
realization that, at this stage of my life, I cannot define such a
thing as 'greatest
succass.' For there are so many aspects of our complex lives that
need attending.
Career is just one of them. What about the other aspects? Am I my
career? Am I my profession? Am I my relationship with a spouse, children,
friends, and community?
Is success in all these areas reflecting on my being a success? And
what about me?
Am I evolving, growing, expanding, and leading a balanced life where
my love of
myself is being attended?"
When
asked what advice she would give to women who want to achieve success
in
their lives, Sara said, "Don't forget yourself in the process
of building a successful career. Forgetting yourself through this
process is not a success in your life, but a success
in only one aspect of your life. It may be an aspect that fills your
life with a sense
of fullness, but it is the fullness of a fool, for the graveyard is
full of people who thoght
they were irreplaceable. Don't mistake between the making of a living
and the making
of a life, as the making of a life is the most valuable success story
where you will leave
a mark in the world. Your career will always be someone else's better
craftsmanship.
Invest first in yourself.... The rest will follow."
